The Big Fella turns 40 – Remembering Jarrod Lyle

*Writers Note: Former PGA TOUR player Jarrod Lyle would have been 40 on August 21 had we not lost the great man way too soon three years ago. Having fought and beaten acute myeloid leukemia three times in his life, the effects of those treatments finally caught up with his body and we had to all say farewell. It still hurts many of us to the core such was his footprint on the lives of others. To celebrate his 40th birthday, Challenge – the charity dedicated to supporting kids with cancer that Jarrod gave so much of himself to – and the PGA of Australia asked Lyle’s family, friends, colleagues, and the infinite people he influenced, to share their favorite stories. I was honored to be one of those people. Below are not just my words, but those of countless others, including his now nine-year-old daughter Lusi. I’m not going to lie. The first time I sat down to write something about Jarrod Lyle to commemorate the great man on what would have been his 40th birthday, a few raw expletives spilled onto the page. It was written from a place of love. And those who were close with Jarrod and understand the traditional ways of Australian male bonding would likely understand why I would speak that way. But one incredible woman I know – one of the strongest anyone could ever encounter – indirectly reminded me that I have a very important job to do. It’s a job not mine alone – but one for all of us who knew Jarrod. A job not directly asked of us, but one it is my absolute duty, and pleasure, to uphold. It is our job to make sure his two beautiful daughters get a full and accurate picture of their father. And Jarrod might have been an Aussie larrikin – but it wasn’t all he was. He might have said a few choice words with me and others at times – but he never wasted his words. They ALL had meaning. If he was around today, I’m sure I would have tried to come up with a clever way to wish him happy birthday. Some attempt at cutting personal humor I’d have spent hours cooking up. But upon delivery he would’ve volleyed it right back with something much better, completely off the cuff. And now that I think about it – I could have used Jarrod’s wise words a few months back on my own 40th. I can see it now. I was in quarantine in a London airport hotel prior to the Open Championship and put out a social media post bemoaning that fact a little. Jarrod would not have let that slide without (rightfully) absolutely smashing me. You see it’s been a rough couple years for most of us amongst this awful pandemic. And we are in a legitimate fight against it both physically and mentally. But Jarrod would always have a way of putting things into perspective. He’d have reminded me it could have been much worse. And complaining about it wasn’t going to solve anything. He’d have said put your gloves on and fight. Find the positive side of the situation under all circumstances and tell the negative to get stuffed. And he’d have been right. Sitting in a hotel room for five days doesn’t even minutely compare to what that man went through in just one minute of his life post his first diagnosis with cancer as a teenager. My head needed to be pulled out of my backside. I could’ve used Jarrod to help with that. Truth is I miss being put in my place by my mate. I miss it because no one could say blunter things yet clearly do so from a place of love and friendship. He could make you laugh so hard you’d cry, and later when you got the true meaning behind his words, you’d be hard-pressed not crying again for a more emotional reason. I miss having him tell it like it is. But there was so much more to him than candid words. Jarrod was the one who should have needed others. He was the one who battled and beat cancer three times. Yet he was the one always putting others needs ahead of his own. I was covering Australian golfers on the PGA TOUR as a journalist when I found out about Jarrod’s second bout with leukemia from another source just days before his first daughter was due. I had to make a call to get confirmation. He picked up, at 7a.m., and apologized for not telling me sooner. HE APOLOGIZED TO ME. Ridiculous. I didn’t care who had the story first. I didn’t want the story to even exist. But here he was, worried about me. He apologized to me again during another interview at the Australian Open years later after he was fronting up for his third fight. This time it was because Lusi ran over and wanted a hug and to play. Seriously. I’ve never wrapped up a chat quicker. Who was I to take even a second away from his time with his three beautiful girls? There are plenty of golf highlights I could point to when it comes to my time knowing Jarrod. His ace at the Waste Management Phoenix Open was certainly awesome. His success at Q-School in Palm Springs was another cool week for me as was his T4 at Riviera right before he was diagnosed the second time. But I remember, and miss, the other moments more. I miss watching him change a nappy (diaper) next to a putting green. I miss the chats we had before and after the tape recorder went on or off. I miss the public roastings at PGA TOUR practice areas that hammered me but also helped me become accepted by the other Aussie players at the same time. Often after those moments came the dinner invites that showed he didn’t perceive any professional barrier between us. I miss watching him knock people down a peg or two if they lost sight of their kindness. I miss seeing the countless smiles he brought to kids with cancer as they faced unthinkable battles. Battles he proved to them all could sometimes be beaten. But most of all I miss the trust he had in me. He would call a spade a shovel and a flog a flog without a second thought of what I could do with his words in my profession. I would try to soften things on occasion but on others he insisted I tell it like he did, even if I had reservations. On what would have been his 40th birthday, I feel heavy-hearted knowing he should have been here for this and so many more celebrations. But if I force myself to look for the positives, as Jarrod insisted many times over, the truth is the number is irrelevant now. Because in my mind – Jarrod is immortal. His legacy lives on. He’s in Lusi and Jemma. He’s in Briony. He’s in all of us who knew him and now he’s in thousands of people who never had that pleasure but who have been inspired by his life. We must continue to give him life in the generations to come. The world needs more of us to be like Jarrod. To find the fun and the positives amongst the invariable struggles of life. And to let those who choose negativity know there’s a better way. Happy Birthday old mate. We miss you. Lusi Lyle, Daughter – A daughter’s perspective I remember when Daddy was in the house in Torquay to see me and Jemma one last time before he died. Once I went around with all our nail polish and I asked Daddy if I could paint his nails. Fortunately, he said yes. I asked which colors he wanted but he didn’t know because he couldn’t see what colors there were. So I did all the colors. By the time I’d finished I realized how bad I did it, but I didn’t care because it was my first-time painting someone’s nails so I was pretty proud of myself and he couldn’t see them so that also made me feel better. I will never forget that day. I remember that Daddy used to call me boof-head, munchie, and donkey. I don’t know why he called me those nicknames but I do remember he always had weird nicknames for everyone. I miss having a boy in the house, having someone close by who was a natural clown, and having someone that doesn’t yell at me as much as mum. I think of him and miss him every day. Briony Lyle, Jarrod’s wife – A huge life “Despite the tidal wave of emotions that comes with trying to understand things from Jarrod’s perspective, one thing stands out to me every time – he lived a huge life… I know for sure that Jarrod’s spirit lives on in our girls, but it also continues to live in the world of golf. And it’s not going away any time soon.” More here. Greg Chalmers, PGA TOUR Player and friend – Infectious and buoyant “He had such perfect, infectious energy that made my day, every single time. Then he’d move on and do the same thing with someone else.” More here. Paul Gow, Former PGA TOUR Player and friend – Captain of the world sarcastic team “Jarrod would put on the good old Aussie slang, which left the Americans puzzled, trying to work out what he was saying. When they finally caught on, he became the most loved Aussie of all time.” More here. Mark Hayes, co-author of ‘My Story – Jarrod Lyle’ – His crew and me “As events took their ultimately tragic twist, we all knew that we had to get those “last thoughts”. The pinnacle of human frailty on show, yet he still gave – to his crew and then to me. I will always be amazed that even in that hour of crisis, Jarrod remained about “you”, not him.” More here. Mark Howard, Sports Commentator – Bloody unforgettable “‘G’day knackers. Geez I f***ed that up near the end didn’t I. Bloody hell!’ Then a laugh so boisterous, it turned heads on a green 30 metres away… I knew from that first meeting that Jarrod Lyle was my type of golfer. My type of man.” More here. Mick Middlemo, former caddie / friend – Uncle Mick “With Jarrod, what you saw was what you got. He was the most honest, genuine bloke you could meet… I know we both look like big, tough Aussie blokes, but we are both big soft marshmallows underneath it all. I held him in my arms more than once when he cried about missing Bri, and again when he was filled with emotion to learn he was going to be a father.” More here. Ray Sizer, former photographer / friend – The legend of the fighting Jarrod “I still remember photographing the tears of raw emotion running down his face as he was interviewed live on TV after his last round. The legend of the fighting Jarrod Lyle had started.” More here. Steve Walsh, Board member: Challenge – Couldn’t get enough of him “Everyone was in awe… Here was a professional golfer dealing with his own challenges, who had just spent hours with the group as ‘one of the boys’.” More here. Andy Lee, Comedian – Beyond a bromance “It’s rare to meet someone and connect with them instantly.” More here. Sandy Jamieson, Coach – What makes a winner “To be honest, even though I had taught a lot of really good golfers before Jarrod Lyle, it wasn’t until I had spent a few years coaching him that I understood what “it” actually was.” More here. Frank Myers, Former Golf Operations Manager at The Sands Torquay – Solving the world’s problems “Everyone that came into the shop was blown away to see the Big Fella.” More here. Ellie and Fraser Fitzpatrick, Cousins – My big cousin “One of the most vivid memories I have is about Jarrod and fairy bread. Always the fairy bread. He used to eat it any chance he got.” More here. Andrew Langford-Jones, former Tournaments Director PGA Tour of Australasia – New kid on the block “His body shape was big, his smile was big, and his personality matched the rest of him – but his entrance to professional golf was also spectacular.” More here. Ian Bull, friend – The smokey hot plate “Within about three minutes, smoke had totally engulfed the apartment and I couldn’t even see Jarrod from the other side of the kitchen bench.” More here. Jason Shortall, Former caddie / friend – The best weeks I had on TOUR “I remember he was telling it to sit after he hit it, but to me it looked great in the air. It took one big bounce, spun to the left, and went in. The whole place erupted! I’ve never heard anything like it – it was so loud.” More here. Carol MacDonald, friend – The kransky roll “At that point in time, the furthest he’d been able to walk was across the road to Peter Mac for blood tests, so I was a little bit nervous about him being able to make it the several blocks (mainly uphill) to the market… (But) his determination to have that sausage was incredible, and something I’ll never forget.” More here. Martin Blake, co-author ‘My Story – Jarrod Lyle’ – Compiling Jarrod’s legacy “Jarrod’s story is sad and fundamentally tragic, a life cut way too short. But the truth of it is, we laughed a hell of a lot through that process. Jarrod poured his heart out to us and so did Briony.” More here.

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