Brittany Horschel opens up about battle with alcoholism

NEW YORK – In the beginning, Billy Horschel thought his wife was just having fun. A little too much fun at times, perhaps, but what the heck? Brittany Horschel wasn’t the first person to have one too many cocktails — and she wouldn’t be the last, either.    “I thought, she’s just drinking, having a good time with friends,â€� Billy says. “A lot of people don’t know when to stop type thing. No big deal.â€� When he started finding plastic water bottles filled with vodka stashed around the house, though, Billy knew something was seriously wrong. Fifths of Grey Goose and SKYY turned up in the oddest places, too. “That’s when I thought there may be an issue,â€� Billy says. The witty, winsome woman he had married in 2010 all but became a stranger to him. The more Brittany drank, the less engaged she became in the life the two college sweethearts had made together. “One thing he would always say to me is, in the morning, you’re great,â€� Brittany says. “But by the evening, it’s like you’re a different person.â€� Billy said it became hard to even hold a conversation with his wife. Sometimes they were talking about something as simple as what to fix for dinner that night. Or maybe he’d turn serious and try to tell her what a toll her drinking was taking on their marriage. Twenty minutes later, though, in her alcoholic fog, Brittany had already forgotten what they’d discussed. “That frustrated me, and then I went into a shell a little bit of not wanting to communicate with my wife at night,â€� Billy says. He was never sure which Brittany would show up. He calls it a “was she drunk or was she sober type of deal.â€� Brittany finally found the strength to stop drinking. It took years of soul-searching, perseverance and an intervention, but she did it. And on May 22, a day after her husband won the AT&T Byron Nelson, which was his fourth PGA TOUR title, Brittany went public with their private struggle. She hadn’t had a drink in 366 days. “I will keep this simple: ‘I am an alcoholic,’ â€� she wrote in the statement posted on Facebook and Twitter. “I say that now without shame. Admitting that to myself, family and friends has saved my life and saved my marriage.â€� i would like to share why yesterday’s win had some extra emotions for my hubby, @BillyHo_Golf xo pic.twitter.com/2yDyhm8kRR— brittany horschel (@britt_horschel) May 22, 2017 Billy and Brittany first met at a junior golf tournament at Doral in 2004. He was 18; she was a year younger. His cap with the University of Florida logo caught her eye because that’s where she was going to play golf in college.   “I didn’t know who he was, so I thought he was a wannabe Gator,â€� Brittany recalls. “But I thought he was cute, so I kind of followed him around.â€� She introduced herself to Billy on the practice range prior to the final round. The two ran into each other at several other junior tournaments that summer, then started dating when they got to Gainesville. The first 2-1/2 years of their relationship were on-again, off-again. By the second semester of their junior year, though, Billy and Brittany were serious. They moved in together as seniors. “We made our families very nervous,â€� Brittany says with a smile. In truth, theirs was a perfect match. Billy found the independent, strong-willed woman he was looking for in Brittany. He also found a kindred spirit in the golfer, who had pro aspirations of her own that were curtailed by a series of wrist injuries. “Still to this day she understands that I may practice for eight hours at the course and she gets it,â€� he says. “She understands it. Obviously, there’s time where she goes, hey, can you help me out here, can you work your practice around this schedule type deal? “But she understands this is the way we make our living.  This is our life.â€� But Brittany, who played at Florida from 2005-09, never was able to realize her own dream and turn pro. Three surgeries on her wrist prevented her from putting in the time on the range needed to reach the next level. “So, my whole self-being and what I thought I was good at and what I thought I was here on this earth to do, I couldn’t do it,â€� the petite blonde says. “I think that’s the beginning of when I started to feel lost and I never got myself back on track.â€� So Brittany started drinking. First, it was white wine. Then it became vodka. That’s when the problem turned serious. The white liquor was easy to camouflage and difficult to smell. It was no longer social drinking. She was now hiding it. “When I look back now, that’s when I see that it was really unhealthy drinking,â€� she says. “I wasn’t drinking to enjoy a glass of wine. It was by myself.â€� By 2012, Billy realized his wife’s drinking had gone beyond the oops-I-had-one-too-many stage. Even so, Brittany managed to quit cold turkey when she was pregnant with their first child, Skylar, who was born two days after Billy won the FedExCup in 2014. “Looking back, I think it’s because I felt like I had another purpose in my life, you know, and that was to keep this child healthy,â€� says Brittany, who had suffered a miscarriage the previous year that both she and her husband feel, in retrospect, contributed to her issues with alcohol. Her new-found sobriety would be short-lived, though. A few glasses of wine led to a few more and a few more and suddenly Brittany was self-medicating again. Billy pleaded with his wife to stop. Even a couple of weeks on the wagon would be a good start, he told her. And then Billy would find another one of those water bottles. “At the beginning I would get upset,â€� he says. “Towards the end, it was just sort of like I couldn’t get upset because I was beyond that. It was a frustration.  “I would tell her, I love you. You are such an unbelievable woman. You are a great mother. You have so many great skills. And I tried — when we had conversations, when I would find the bottle, I would try towards the end to reiterate that to her.  “It just wasn’t getting through.â€� As things escalated, Billy even went so far as to threaten to divorce Brittany. Six times, in fact. Not that he wanted to – his love for her was too strong. His commitment too deep. “But I just was trying anything I could to break her out of the funk,â€� he says. Brittany just kept drinking. Her self-esteem was at rock bottom. She convinced herself Billy didn’t love her. She thought her friends didn’t care, either. “That was all my distorted views of everybody from the what the alcohol had done,â€� she says. “I had gotten myself into a depression. Really, I felt I was a tiny, tiny person in a corner all by myself.  “So our relationship definitely (suffered) — I wouldn’t even call it a relationship. Just two people living together.â€� Eventually, Brittany got to the point that she would have a drink, usually vodka and orange juice, as soon as she would get up in the morning. She would continue to drink all day, “almost to numb myself,â€� Brittany says.   “I remember the professionals, the counselors, the therapists, everybody saying that she had to drink because she had a level she had to maintain,â€� Billy recalls. “If she got below that level, she felt bad. Her body sort of like didn’t know how to function without the alcohol.â€� Finally, though, Brittany got scared. That’s why the intervention worked. from my journal 1 year ago today…”why would you give up everything for one thing, when you can give up one thing for everything?”— brittany horschel (@britt_horschel) May 26, 2017 It was May of 2016. The week after THE PLAYERS Championship. Brittany had just returned from a trip with several girlfriends, who came back and told Billy they thought she might have a problem. Within 24 hours, Billy had set everything up. Brittany’s traveling companions were there, along with a doctor and another friend who is a licensed therapist. “I needed somebody,â€� Billy says. “… I needed some more backing, really, from people that cared about her, people that she cared about as well, to sort of help me help push through that wall to get to Brittany.â€� Billy doesn’t remember how he got Brittany to the intervention that night. But once they walked in the door, she knew what was about to happen. She was at peace with it, too. “I was ready,â€� Brittany says. “They all had their little speeches, for lack of a better word. And I think one person got through theirs and I was on board.â€� Billy said he’d actually sensed for a month or so that his wife wanted help. “I kept saying, ‘Hey, there’s something you are not telling me’,â€� Billy recalls. “’Is there something you need to tell me? I’m here for you, I’m going to love you no matter what. We can figure anything out.’ “I was trying to get her to open up and tell me that she was an alcoholic. Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to. So, the intervention, it was great because she was not defensive at all and she was ready to go.â€� Brittany was hoping to find a treatment center near their home in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida, so she could be close to her family. But the couple eventually settled on a rehabilitation facility in southeastern Florida.   The therapy was intense and included family members as Billy and his wife learned communication skills and how to rebuild their relationship. She was there for two months with only one visit home. “It was the hardest thing to do to leave Skylar but it was also the best possible thing I could have done,â€� Brittany says. Happy Daddy’s Day @BillyHo_Golf. We love you so much. Thank you for everthing you do for us. #FathersDay pic.twitter.com/Ych04RRuvW — brittany horschel (@britt_horschel) June 18, 2017 Billy, meanwhile, took on the role of Mr. Mom. Skylar was his No. 1 priority, of course. He also paid the bills and did laundry. He even moved the family into a new home. His dad, who basically came to live with him while Brittany was in rehab, was a huge help. Billy rarely had time to practice or hit the gym — and he was good with that. His family came first. “I was in a different realm than I’ve ever been,â€� he explains. “It goes from waking up and going to work out and practice every day, to waking up to take care of my daughter.â€� While Billy had planned to take a complete sabbatical from the game, several friends who are also addicts encouraged him to play. If he didn’t, they warned, Brittany might feel guilty. So, Billy played twice, tying for 32nd at the U.S. Open at Oakmont and missing the cut at the Open Championship at Royal Troon. But he skipped four other events that he usually played, events that he usually plays well in. “In a two-month span, besides playing two events, I only maybe practiced five or six days in a 64 or 67-day span,â€� Billy says. “It was really strange for me.  “But at the same time, it was the right thing to do to be there for my little one, make sure my home life was running, do everything I could to make sure Brittany had everything she needed when she came home.â€� And Billy, one of the more gregarious and open players on TOUR, still managed to keep what was going on his life private.    “It was no one’s business for the time being,â€� he says. “So that’s the way it was.â€�  Still, Billy’s absence didn’t go unnoticed. Scott Vail, a good friend who caddies for Brandt Snedeker, texted him during the FedEx St. Jude Classic to see what was up. TOUR veteran Scott Piercy also was worried. Billy finally told both what had happened. And once Brittany posted on Facebook and Twitter last month, there were no more secrets. Her husband was gratified by the support he felt the following week at the DEAN & DELUCA Invitational. “Listen, the PGA TOUR is a big family,â€� Billy says. “When anyone is going through something, whether it was Brittany’s alcoholism, Stewart Cink’s wife’s cancer, whatever players deal with out there, players and their families do a really good job of showing support to that individual.â€� Brittany’s revealing social media posts were completely her idea. She wanted to explain why her husband had been so emotional as he broke that three-year victory drought. She wanted to come clean about the off-course struggles to which he had alluded in his post-round interview. “To get emotional that way, in a way I’ve never done before in my previous three wins,â€� Billy says. “I knew what that day meant. It was a year to that day that we had the intervention. It was a year to that day that Brittany had taken her last drink.â€� So she emailed Billy and his agent, Sherry Whay, and asked them to look at the statement. Her husband expressed some reservations, but she told him she was ready to go public in hopes that her story would help others. “So it was a big step, it was an encouraging step by her,â€� Billy says. The reaction has been overwhelmingly positive. People have reached out to Brittany from all over the world. When he signs autographs after a round, fans tell Billy about their own struggles. “A mom or a dad may say, Hey, that was really unbelievable what your wife did,â€� he says. “…  And they are like, I want to let you know, I’m five years sober or I’m 10 years sober or my son or my daughter is sober as well.â€� “I think you find most people can connect to somebody that’s an alcoholic, either their family, friends,â€� Brittany notes. Chris Herren, a highly touted high school basketball player in the mid-1990s who fell victim to drug abuse, even reached out to the Horschels via Twitter. He has been clean since 2008 and now helps guide addicts toward sobriety through The Herren Project. Brittany and Billy had been thinking about starting a foundation, as well, and now they have their cause. They were in New York on Wednesday doing a series of interviews with national media outlets, including an appearance on “Good Morning America.â€� “We want … to help young families and women struggling with addictions,â€� Brittany says. “And then I would love to keep doing speaking engagements and just be somebody that’s available to people to talk to and reach out for help.â€� Brittany, who knows her battle for sobriety will be on-going, stops short of saying she’s surprised by how far she’s come during the last 13 months. But she is proud of the woman she has become. “I’ve gained my self-confidence back, my self-worth,â€� she says. “So, no, I’m not surprised. I knew I could do it.â€� At the same time, she will admit to being a little surprised that Billy stuck by her. She knows she tested every ounce of his commitment. She knows she embarrassed him – although he won’t say so – and she’s forever grateful for his help. “I kept apologizing to him down at recovery,â€� she says. “(But) one thing that he said to me is just the respect he had for me for getting help and fighting this. … “And I gained so much respect and love for him for everything that he stuck through. I love him even more for getting me help because I couldn’t do it for myself.â€�

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